How to Get Better at Facing Your Fears: According to Science
April 13, 2023
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Tips for Overcoming Your Fears: Insights from Science As children, facing our fears was a…
Mastering Trust: A Guide to Learning How to Overcome Trust Issues
Exploring the Depths of Distrust: Understanding Trust Issues
If you have ever been taken advantage of to the point where it feels like there is no turning back, you may be grappling with questions like “Who can I trust?” or “How can I trust again?” Trust issues can be debilitating and may cause us to become withdrawn and isolated from others. To move forward and find healing, it is important to first understand what trust really means.
According to the dictionary, trust implies “instinctive unquestioning belief in and reliance upon something.” While this may seem like a tall order, it is essential for our well-being that we are able to find this level of expectation in some aspect of our life, whether it be with family, friends, or romantic partners. However, due to our human nature and the sometimes harsh realities of our environment, it can be challenging to trust without question.
In fact, we are often taught to question the intentions of others in order to protect ourselves from scams and selfish motivations. But in order to truly trust, we must believe in and rely upon someone or something, with our whole heart. This can be an immense challenge for those who have developed trust issues due to past experiences.
We have all heard the saying that trust is the foundation of any relationship, and this rings true in many cases. Unfortunately, many people do not fully realize the importance of honesty and reliability until it is too late. Self-serving attitudes can lead to unintentional harm to those we love the most, or we may find ourselves the victim of such harm. In either case, healing can be a long and difficult process.
It is natural to have an intuitive sense when someone lacks integrity or is untrustworthy. However, when we have developed trust issues, that voice of warning can turn into a constant roar, causing us to distrust everyone in our lives, with or without a valid basis for that fear. Whether we have personally experienced a painful betrayal or witnessed it happen to someone else, it can damage our faith in others and make it difficult to build functional relationships.
Our instinctive reaction may be to shut out anyone who attempts to love us, in an effort to prevent the pain from happening again. However, this can ultimately cause further harm to our lives, as we become isolated and unable to build meaningful connections with others. By understanding the roots of our distrust and working through our issues with a trusted therapist or counselor, we can begin to move forward and develop healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Working Through Trust Issues
Overcoming the emotional pain of a trust violation is no easy task. It requires patience, determination, and self-reflection. Whether you are the person struggling to trust again or supporting someone through the process, rebuilding trust takes time and effort. Here are some steps you can take to start the healing process:
Acknowledging the Challenge
The first step in healing is accepting that the process will be challenging. It’s normal to feel discouraged and re-injured as you work through trust issues. If you are supporting someone else, you may experience frustration or sadness as well. Remember, rebuilding trust takes longer than breaking it down, but the end result will be worth it.
Giving the Benefit of the Doubt
When you are ready to begin rebuilding trust, start by giving people the benefit of the doubt. This can be difficult, especially if you have been guarding your emotions tightly. Remind yourself that not everyone is out to harm you, and one person’s actions do not reflect the intentions of everyone else.
Supporting a Loved One
If you know someone with trust issues, reassure them that you care and won’t betray them. Expect that they may question you in a suspicious tone, but don’t push them too hard, as it can make them feel threatened. Instead, be a good listener and allow time and experience to do the rest.
Holding Yourself Accountable
If you have violated someone’s trust, hold yourself accountable. Ask yourself if you are a trustworthy individual and practice honesty whenever the opportunity arises. Recognize that regaining someone’s trust may take a lot of time, and they may never fully trust you again. However, if they are giving you a chance, work hard to earn back their trust.
Getting Professional Help
If you are struggling to overcome trust issues, professional help is available. Talk therapy can be extremely beneficial, providing you with a new perspective and validation. Group therapy sessions can also be helpful, providing camaraderie with others who are going through similar experiences.
Examining Yourself
Take some time to examine your personality and behaviors that may make trust difficult. Are you a recluse? Do you have difficulty opening up to others? Examining yourself can help you understand why trust may be challenging and work on improving those areas.
Embracing Life Again
Dealing with trust issues can be daunting, but it’s important to allow yourself to find love and friendship again. Taking the steps to work through trust issues can help you fully embrace life once again.
