Managing Physical Attraction When Your Spouse is Overweight

Dr. Serenity
April 10, 2023

The Importance of Physical Attraction in Marriage: Dealing with Spouse’s Weight Gain

Marriage vows often include promises to stick together through thick and thin, but what about when it comes to weight gain? While some couples find their physical attraction to each other grows over time, others struggle with their spouse’s weight gain. While some changes in appearance are natural, voluntary weight gain can be a sensitive issue. Is it reasonable for spouses to demand change in such situations? Let’s explore what you can do when faced with a similar situation in your marriage.

  • Prioritizing Health over Appearance

When your spouse gains weight, it’s not just about physical appearance. Being overweight or obese can also compromise their health, which could ultimately lead to shorter life expectancy and less time spent together. In addition to the impact on the relationship, being overweight increases the risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart attack, and stroke. Overweight individuals may also struggle to engage in physical activities they once enjoyed. It’s important to remember that a lack of dedication to maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle can have serious consequences, and this should be the primary concern.

  • Balancing Support and Criticism

It’s important to strike a balance between supporting and criticizing a spouse who is struggling with their weight. While tough love can be motivating, constant criticism can backfire and contribute to overeating. It’s worth examining whether any verbal or emotional behaviors are encouraging overeating, such as harsh criticism or withholding affection. Overeating can be an emotional reaction, and it’s essential to address the underlying causes of overeating rather than just focusing on weight loss.

  • Choosing to Help

To support your partner in their weight loss journey, you need to be encouraging without becoming a “food police.” While you shouldn’t have to sacrifice all of your unhealthy habits, making an effort to lead by example can be helpful. Communication is also crucial, as you should ask your partner what kind of support they need. This could involve cooking healthier meals together or becoming exercise partners. It may also involve getting rid of unhealthy foods and stocking the kitchen with healthy options. Walking is a simple yet effective way to lose weight, and it can also be an opportunity to bond. Encouraging physical activity through fun activities can also be a great way to indirectly promote weight loss. Researching weight loss programs that your spouse may find helpful can also be proactive.

  • Focusing on Other Positive Qualities

Physical attraction is not the only factor that contributes to a healthy relationship. There are numerous other qualities, such as a partner’s voice, scent, or personality, that can be just as attractive. It’s important to remember this when struggling with a spouse’s weight gain, and to focus on the other positive traits that you find attractive.

In summary, while physical appearance is an important aspect of attraction, it’s essential to prioritize health and well-being in a relationship. Encouraging weight loss should come from a place of love and support, not criticism. Focusing on other qualities that make your spouse attractive can also help maintain a strong and healthy relationship. Ultimately, it’s important for both partners to take steps to be the healthiest and happiest versions of themselves, for the sake of both themselves and their relationship.

Author Dr. Serenity

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