Coping with Loss: Essential Tips for Healthy Grieving

Dr. Serenity
April 13, 2023

Strategies for Healthy Grieving: How to Cope with Loss

Coping with loss is a complex process that psychologists have been studying for years. Grief is a common emotional response to loss, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a job, or a romantic relationship. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution to dealing with grief, there are some common emotional symptoms, including sadness, yearning, shock, numbness, denial, anger, guilt, and helplessness. Grief can also manifest physically, with symptoms such as shortness of breath, headaches, fatigue, nausea, and pain.

Sigmund Freud’s concept of “grief work” has been influential in understanding the process of grieving. However, subsequent research suggests that there is no one “right” way to cope with loss. Everyone experiences grief differently, and there is considerable cultural variation in what is considered “normal” or “typical” grief.

While some people may benefit from grief work, others may find distraction or suppression of emotions to be a more effective coping strategy. It’s important to recognize that experiences of grief are diverse and complex. Ultimately, the goal of healthy grieving is to process thoughts and emotions in a way that allows for moving forward in life.

Coping with Grief: Effective Strategies

Dealing with grief is a highly individual experience, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to managing it. However, certain coping strategies have been shown to be beneficial and have evidence supporting their effectiveness.

  • Introspection and Reflection

After a significant loss, it is not uncommon to feel as though life no longer makes sense. This “crisis of meaning” can be addressed by reconstructing meaning through positive changes in your life. Engage in activities that make you feel like you’re growing or improving, such as spending quality time with loved ones. Journaling or writing about how your lost loved one influenced your life can also help you find meaning and construct a positive narrative.

  • Talking to Someone

Talking through your emotions and experiences with others can be clarifying and cathartic. Early on in the grieving process, it is essential to share your thoughts and feelings with trusted individuals, such as friends, partners, coworkers, or therapists. This can lead to a greater understanding of your emotions and facilitate the grieving process.

  • Staying Connected with Whomever You’ve Lost

Traditionally, Freudian psychology suggested that people should “let go” and “move on” after a loved one’s death. However, research shows that maintaining some form of connection with the deceased can be beneficial. Many people sustain enduring connections with their lost loved ones in various ways. These include sensing the presence of the deceased, talking to them (either aloud or in one’s head), using them as a moral guide, or talking with others who knew the deceased. While staying connected is essential, it is crucial to recognize and accept the reality of the loss.


Grief is a highly individual experience, and there is no single approach to managing it. However, incorporating strategies such as introspection and reflection, talking to others, and staying connected to the deceased can help facilitate the grieving process. Remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and seeking support when needed is always a positive step.

When to Seek Professional Help for Managing Grief

Grieving is a natural and often complex process, and there is no right or wrong way to go through it. However, there may be times when professional guidance is necessary for some individuals.

M. Katherine Shear, MD, the Marion E. Kenworthy Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University in New York City, explains that prolonged grief disorder is a specific diagnosis for people who are struggling to cope with the death of a loved one. This disorder is characterized by persistent preoccupation with the person who has died, as well as other symptoms of intense grief that affect a person’s life for at least six months or longer than might be considered typical for their social, cultural, or religious background.

For individuals who meet the criteria for prolonged grief disorder, Dr. Shear has developed a 16-week therapy program that has been proven effective. The therapy includes accepting grief, managing emotions, envisioning a positive future, strengthening relationships, narrating the story of the death, living with reminders, and connecting with memories.

Professional counseling can provide support and guidance to help individuals adapt to their loss and move forward in their own lives. Therefore, it is important to seek help when experiencing symptoms of prolonged grief disorder. Talking to a primary care physician or a licensed therapist can help determine if professional guidance is necessary.


Grief is a highly personal experience, and there is no one right way to go through it. However, if you are experiencing symptoms of prolonged grief disorder, professional guidance may be necessary to help you move forward. Dr. Shear’s therapy program is one evidence-backed option to consider, and talking to a primary care physician or licensed therapist can help you determine if professional counseling is right for you. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and it can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling life.

Author Dr. Serenity

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